things that one should not attempt

Not long ago, there was a pulley in our barn. It was suspended from a rafter beneath the hayloft, several feet away from a ladder. It was furnished with a length of green nylon rope. You could tie the rope around your waist and hold the other end, climb up the ladder, and then jump off and launch yourself into space.

Grant and Ansley could amuse themselves for hours on the pulley. They had actual routines worked out. They would each tie an end of rope around their waists, Grant would climb up the ladder and Ansley would wait on the ground. Grant would jump out and drop like a rock and Ansley would rapidly shoot fifteen feet into the air. Once, I believe that they twisted around each other and got stuck. It was amusing to walk into the barn and to see both my brother and my sister hanging ten feet off of the ground, slowly swinging back and forth, and unable to get down.

Whenever my brother and sister had friends over, their friends wanted to try the pulley. I can only imagine what mothers thought when their children returned home with tales of jumping off of ladders, and leaping out of haylofts on our homemade zip-line (it was necessary, on this zipline, to crash face-first into the opposite wall of the barn to stop yourself). It is somewhat amazing that we haven't had anyone go the the hospital.

I had tried the pulley several times, but never quite mastered it as had my siblings. One day, I walked into the barn alone, and the pulley caught my eye. Deep down inside, I think I knew it was a bad idea to try anything on the pulley, but I decided that I would stand in the loop on one end of the rope and hold onto the other end and pull myself up. What happened next is a blur. In less than half a second, my feet were somehow up above my head and I was suspended upside down. Things such as this that happen so quickly and so unexpectedly have a very strange way of disorienting you. I was quite disoriented, so much so that I let go of the end of the rope that I was holding. Of course, doing this caused me to drop straight onto my back.

When I could breathe again, I was very glad that there was no one else in the barn to see what an terribly imbecilic thing that I had just done. I made the mistake of telling my family about this. Now, they all think that there is something wrong with me. I wonder why.

As for now, there is no longer a pulley in our barn.